THE SECRETS OF MASONRY

NOTE BY THE TRANSLATOR

THE document, of which the following pages present a faithful translation, is preserved among the treasures of Lodge No. 00 Kilfunning. This Lodge claims to be the oldest in Scotland, and the successive Right Worshipful Masters assert that it was founded by those worthy operatives who left the land of Israel carrying with them the stone upon which Jacob laid his rebellious head at Bethel, and who, after many shipwrecks and much personal danger, reached Caledonia; and, settling at Kilfunning, presented Jacob's pillow to the people as the coronation stone of their future Kings. Of the authenticity of the Gospel of St Andrew and the claim of the Right Worshipful Masters it is enough to say that neither has ever been challenged.

— William Harvey

THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO SAINT ANDREW

CHAPTER 1

NOW, when the brethren had assembled themselves together to keep the feast, the Right Worshipful Master, rising in his place, in the eastmost part of the Lodge, put unto them the question in the manner of old — How, now, chat is the day?

2. And, with one accord, the brethren answered him, saying, It is the Feast of the holy Saint Andrew, Right Worshipful Master.

3. Then, knocking with a loud knock upon the pillar which was set in front of him, and looking unto the S .... where sat the Worshipful Junior Warden, the Right Worshipful Master said unto him Tell me, I pray thee, what is the time?

4. The Worshipful Junior Warden, rising in his place in the S ...., and, looking first at the clock which hung upon the wall, and again at the glorious luminary of the day, as he might perceive it through the little skylight that was in the roof, answered in a voice that was full of rapture and expectancy, The Sun is in the Meridian, Right Worshipful Master.

5. Now, at the words of the Worshipful Junior Warden, a knowing smile, which betokened happiness and inward mirth, spread over the faces of all the brethren who were gathered together.

6. The Right Worshipful Waster hearing the words, and perceiving the smile, spake unto the Worshipful Junior Warden in this wise saying:

7. Worshipful Junior Warden, since the Sun is in the Meridian, I command you to call the brethren from labour unto refreshment.

8. And the Worshipful Junior Warden, giving a loud knock with the mallet on the pillar which was set in front of him, and looking unto the N ...., and unto the W ...., and again unto the S ...., said unto the brethren, Ye have heard the Right Worshipful Master's commands that ye cease from labour and pass to refreshment. Keep within hail, I pray, that ye may come on again when called upon.

9. And again he knocked, and the knock which he gave upon his pillar was repeated in the W .... by the Worshipful Senior Warden on his pillar, and by the Inner Guard upon the door, and by the Tyler upon the outside of the door, and by the Right Worshipful Master upon his pedestal.

10. And when they had all thus knocked in the manner customary with the Order, and instituted by our first Grand Master H.A.B., at the building of King Solomon's Temple, the Right Worshipful Masters casting down his mallet with that indifference which betokeneth the comfort that comes when freed from the cares of office, said, Brethren, the Worshipful Junior Warden is in charge of the meeting.

11. Now, when the Right Worshipful Master had said these words, the brethren altogether with a babel of voices began to speak of the things that would be done ere yet the call to labour again should come to them.

12. And while the brethren spake among themselves there was much running to and fro, much knocking down of seats and throwing up of tables, till, in truth, to the eye of the observer, it might well have seemed that labour had begun, rather than that labour had been brought to a standstill.

13. The Steward, and all those who compassed him about, were in much activity for a time, but at last the table was spread in sight of all the brethren.

CHAPTER II

NOW this was the manner in which the table was spread in sight of all the brethren.

2. At the head thereof, before the place in which the Right Worshipful Master sat, was set the B ... o . t .. H ... L ... closed as was seemly.

3. And upon it lay the C and the S .....

4. And, flanking it on either side, to the right hand and to the left, were the genuine working tools of the Merry Mason, namely, the barleybree, and all manner of other liquors that the earth and the waters under the earth could produce.

5. For I would have you to bear in mind that while the feast is the Feast of the Holy Apostle, Saint Andrew, it is also the night set apart to the memory of the unholy Saint John the Barleycorn.

6. And many there be who worship him in spirit and in truth.

7. Then, a little way off from the Right Worshipful Master on every hand, there were as well beer as that which is called stout; and still further off, as though to say that they were not in special favour, were the beer that is surnamed ginger, and the lemon of the squash.

8. Verily, verily, I say unto you that few there be which cast eyes in the way of the waters that cheer but do not inebriate.

9. After a like manner the Steward furnished the tables with food, — plentiful in kind and abundant in quantity.

10. And it was meet that he did so for, notwithstanding it is written in the Gospel according to the Holy Saint John — not him of the Barleycorn but him which was the Apostle — that five barley loaves and two small fishes were sufficient unto the feeding of five thousand and the leaving of many baskets of fragments to be gathered up, nevertheless, I tell you, that these same barley loaves and fishes had been insufficient for a meal unto the Right Worshipful Master himself.

11. The tables groaned with the steakpies that were stood upon them and with the trenchers of tatties — called in the tongue of the English potatoes — that invited the brethren to sup.

12. Now when grace had been said by the brother called the Chaplain - the same which had left off the duty of cutting hair at threepence per head (for he was a barber) and taken up the sacred office so that the brethren might partake of the mercies in a seemly fashion — there was much beating of the knife upon the fork, much running hither and thither of waiters bent upon supplying what they called the inner man, and much mumbling of men who would talk with mouths full of steakpie and tattles.

13. At last, when all had supped to repletion and, in the words of the immortal poet of the Scots, all had weelswalled kytes — whatever these may be, for they pass my understanding who am a plain man unskilled in the quaint tongues of the earth — the Right Worshipful Master, rising in the E . . ., as was his wont, and looking toward the W . . . said unto the Worshipful Senior Warden, who was seated there, How now, are ye all charged in the W . . .?

14. And the Worshipful Senior Warden, casting his eyes about him to make sure that he spoke truly, answereth, All in the W . . ., Right Worshipful Master.

15. Then, in like manner looking unto the S ...., saith the Right Worshipful Master, Are ye all in the S ...., Worshipful Junior Warden?

16. And the Worshipful Junior Warden likewise casting his eyes about him, answered the Right Worshipful Master, saying, All charged in the S ...., Right Worshipful Master.

17. Then presently doth it appear what signifyeth these phrases. For it is one of the secrets of Freemasonry, more precious than fine gold, that to charge meaneth to fill the glass with the blood of Saint John the Barleycorn.

18. And further doth it appear that in readiness for the question of the Right Worshipful Master every brother had filled his glass, ay, even unto the brim thereof, for every brother knew that as surely as the Sun riseth in the East to open and enliven the glorious day, so surely would the Right Worshipful Master rise in the E . . . and address the almighty and omnipotent question unto their Worshipfuls, the Senior and the Junior Wardens.

19. Having thus received the assurance of his Worshipful Wardens that all the brethren were duly and truly charged, the Right Worshipful Master elevating his own glass (after the manner of the priest of the holy Catholic church in the service of the Eucharist) smacketh his lips and saith;

20. Brethren, I give unto you a toast, and the toast that I give unto you is that of the Karaft, and all the secrets thereof known only to those true and faithful brothers who have seen the Light that never was on land or sea.

21. And the brethren stood themselves upon their feet, and raising their glasses in manner like unto the example of the Right Worshipful Master, shouted in one voice. The Karaft, and being thirsty with the shout slackened their drouth with a goodlysized wulliewacht of the barleybree.

22. Then when they had all drunk, and had all laid down their glasses which were empty upon the bench, they looked unto the E ... for a sign.

23. And the Right Worshipful Master as a further mark of his approval, looketh first unto the W ..., and then unto the S ...., and saith, Count, Wardens, Count.

24. Whereat, in a way most wondrous to behold, all the brethren did clap their hands together and make a joyful noise.

25. First the one hand upon the other and then the other hand upon the one.

26. After the which did they twirl their little fingers in the air, and did utter a piercing shriek, the same which those skilled in the awful and mysterious language of the Karaft say is the word, Hurrah ! repeated thus wise, Hurrahrahrah!

27. Having thus offered up their sacrifice of sentiment unto the Karaft, the brethren did set their doups down upon their seats, and begin each to fumble in his pocket for that which would give further refreshment.

28. Now ere many minutes had passed into the silence of Eternity, the atmosphere was thick with the incense burned at the shrine of My Lady Nicotine which same alluring female passed freely among the brethren, kissing each upon the mouth as is her wont:

29. That same Lady which is the only member of the tender sex that is permitted to sojourn within (yea, also, and defile) the sacred precincts of the Temple of the Karaft.

30. Now, in the service of her ladyship there were pipes:

31. The common clay, otherwise the T...... W......; likewise the briar, and eke the meerschaum; moreover there were the cigar, and its sister the cheroot, and its nephew the cigarette with its merrybegotten child the woodbine, surnamed the wild.

32. And all the brethren smoking together praised the pipe, yea praised they the cigar, the cheroot, and the cigarette. Even from the E . . . unto the W . . . and from the N .... unto the S .... was there a cloud of smoke which hid the brethren one from the other even as the pillar of cloud shielded Moses and the Israelites in the wilderness.

33. Now some there were who smoked not and, casting the eye that watered upon those who did, and coughing with a loud cough did they say that the reek was most damnable.

34. Verily, verily, I say unto you they spake the truth.

CHAPTER III

NOW, when the great handle of the clock had encompassed the face thereof divers times, (notwithstanding the which the Sun, after the manner of the secrets of the Karaft, was still in the Meridians) one or two, who sat in the E . . . with the Right Worshipful Master, said unto him that the hour was nigh unto twelve.

2. And the Right Worshipful Master rising none too steadily, for his friend Saint John the Barleycorn played about his legs, spake unto the brethren saying:

3. Dearly beloved, it is nigh unto High Twelve, that witching hour when once again the mysterious secrets of a Master Mason may be uttered among the Brethren of the Karaft.

4. And at the words the Brethren (as had been done by their fathers at every High Twelve since the building of the Temple by the three Grand Masters thereof) cried in a thick speech and a loud voice:

5. Close tyle the door.

6. And the door was close tyled.

7. Then spake the Right Worshipful Master, through the mouth of Saint John the Barleycorn, saying:

8. These are the great and mysterious secrets which I declare unto you under your sacred promise that you will heal, conceal, and never improperly reveal them by word, sign, or writing:

9. First, there is the secret of the Masons' Word as it is written upon the scroll above the door of the Vault at the sign of the C ...... and S....., built by our supreme Grand Master Saint John the Barleycorn:

10. And the word is in four parts: a part for the E ..., and a part for the W ..., and a part for the N ...., and a part for the S ...., as a symbol of the Karaft which is spread to the four quarters of the globe.

11. Now, the first part thereof is SAUT (or, as it is in the vulgar tongue of the English SALT); and the second part thereof is BEEF; and the third part thereof is AND; and the fourth part thereof is MUSTARD.

12. And my brethren the whole word is ______?

13. With one voice did they answer him, saying, SAUTBEEFANDMUSTARD.

14. After a time the Right Worshipful Master spake further saying:

15. Now, when it shall come to pass that any one of you shall be greeted by him whom you suspect to be a brother;

16. If he shall give unto you the sign of the Knife and Fork by placing the index finger of his right hand upon the index finger of his left hand in such wise as he shall make a Saint Andrew's Cross, you shall say unto him SAUT.

17. And if he be a true brother of the Karaft he shall answer unto you, saying, BEEF.

18. Being thus assured of the ancient landmarks of the Order you may adventure further, saying, AND;

19. When, so be that he is well skilled in our ancient mysteries, he will instantly add unto your speech the word MUSTARD.

20. Thus as it has been written shall it come to pass that each of you twain shall utter one part of the great omnific word in turn so completing the word between you but neither of you pronouncing it in the majesty of its fulness.

21. Whereupon the Brethren answered him saying, Yea, yea, Right Worshipful Master.

22. After a little while the Right Worshipful Master spake a third time saying:

23. Lest, peradventure, in your travels upon the face of the globe ye wish to greet a brother in an unfamiliar place, it is meet that ye should have a password.

24. And this is the password which ye shall have:

25. It shall be like unto the Grand Word in respect that trio parts thereof shall be identical with two parts of the Grand Word even as the angles of the equilateral triangle are like one unto another.

26. And the word of the passing shall be formed in thus wise:

27. You shall elide from the Grand Word the first part thereof, which is SAUT, and the last part thereof which is MUSTARD;

28. And these twain parts being elided the Grand Word shall be deprived of its seasoning and be without savour and void of sense.

29. Therefore shall ye go to, and to that which is left add the word GREENS. For is it not written in the Book of the Karonicles of the Karaft that the password shall be BEEFANDGREENS even from the rising of the sun unto the going down of the same?

30. And the password shall be as a memorial of your fathers which were with Moses in the wilderness.

31. When any brother of the Karaft who has but entered at the door shall ask of you whence canoe the word you shall say unto him thusly:

32. Now, when the children of Israel were sick unto death of the manna which did fall from the heavens, they took counsel among themselves.

33. And when they were resolved upon that which they would do, two of the more ruffianly were chosen to lay hold upon Moses when the light went out and to say unto him, Go to, give us BEEF.

34. And the two ruffians went out as they were commanded, and laid hold upon Moses, and did say unto him that which had been ordained, but one of the two being more ruffianly than the other — for he was a Scottisman: the same which founded Lodge No. 00 Kilswindle — and remembering the kail of his native land, did cry with a loud voice, Ay! BEEFANDGREENS.

35. Whereupon Moses casting his rod upon their backs, and not upon the ground as ancient writers tell, thrust the ruffians from him, saying, By BEEFANDGREENS shall ye be known among men everywhere.

36. And as the word was chosen at that time to mark out those which yearned for the fleshpots of Egypt so Moses decreed that it should designate you and all Freemasons throughout the world who claim to be merry brethren of the Karaft.

CHAPTER IV

NOW when the Right Worshipful Master (aided as some said; hindered as said others by the offices of Saint John the Barleycorn) had repeated these the secrets of the Karaft, and the brethren (holding as fast as Saint John the Barleycorn would allow them to the ancient landmarks of the Order) had signified that they had received them once again into their keeping, the Worshipful Senior Warden rose in his place in the W . . .

2. And, taking in his hand a glass charged unto the brim with the barleybree he spake unto those which were assembled before him saying:

3. Worthy brethren all, ere the cock craw and the day daw, there remaineth yet one duty to discharge.

4. I give unto you a toast and the toast I give unto you is that of the humble representative of our old friend Moses who sitteth in his throne in the E . . ., the Right Worshipful Master.

5. With one accord all the brethren did spring to their feet, yea did they spring with much merriness, and clinking of glass and clapping of the hand, shouting in a loud voice, The Master! The Master!! The Master!!!

6. Then when the tumult had subsided, the Right Worshipful Master rose once more in his place in the E . . . and, knocking on the pedestal in front of him, and looking to the S ...., saith unto the Worshipful Junior Warden, Worshipful Junior Warden, what is the time?

7. And the Worshipful Junior Warden looking first with the left eye closed at the two clocks on the wall (for miraculous to relate the clocks did multiply under the power of Saint John the Barleycorn) and again with the right eye closed through the little window in the roof at the two moons in the sky (which moons had multiplied even as the clocks) answered the Right Worshipful Master, saying unto him, The sun has passed the zenith.

8. Then saith the Right Worshipful Master unto the Worshipful Junior Warden, That being so, I command you to call the brethren from refreshment to labour.

9. And the brethren having been called to labour according to the ancient manner of the merry masons, the Right Worshipful Master saith unto them:

10. Brethren, nothing now remains but for us to lock up the secrets of Freemasonry from the eyes of the curious and this we do by saying, BEEFANDGREENS, BEEFANDGREENS, BEEFANDGREENS.

11. And the brethren answered him in a loud voice, saying, BEEFANDGREENS, BEEFANDGREENS, BEEFANDGREENS.

Now these are all the words that are written in the Book of the Holy Saint Andrew, the patron saint of Scotland, and of the Scottish Karaft.